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Post by Adriana Call on Jul 22, 2008 0:57:49 GMT -4
Adriana curled up next to him, resting her head on her good arm. She looked at him, stunned. He'd never told her that. And she wasn't quite sure if she was ready to say it in return...he was so very sure, and he had a right to be, he was almost three times her age. She was only fifteen--she thought it fair to take some time, to think about her situation before giving herself up entirely, body and soul.
She continued to look at his hand. She traced the crevices of his palm. She was still speechless when he spoke once more.
What are you thinking? Well, what was she thinking? "I'm thinking...I'm too young for this. I'm thinking that being with you forever isn't exactly a promise I'm free to make. And I'm thinking that there are some reasons, some things about me, that might make you take back the sweet things you just said," she spoke sofly and seriously, meeting his eyes with a wide scared stare. He needed to know...she was cheating him by keeping him in the dark...
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Post by Lysander Rousseau on Jul 22, 2008 1:37:56 GMT -4
Lysander opened his eyes and looked down at her. She didn't say anything back, which he half expected. He knew that maybe they were moving too fast, especially for someone as young as her. I'm 55, I should be at my children's college graduations...I mean, if I had any children, he thought guiltily.
His eyes looked towards the blinding light of the sun. The rays weren't hurting his eyes. Nothing could cause him pain. But he felt something as Adriana spoke. "I wholeheartedly agree with you. I do. And I think if you could find someone much better suited for you them me, then I believe you should be with that person." He knew from the first time he touched her that their relationship couldn't possibly work out. He knew it wasn't meant to be. But he was happy for the first time in a long time. And he knew that what he was doing to Adriana wasn't fair to her at all. She should be able to have children and grow old and die. What I wouldn't give to be human again and die a natural death. "What are those reasons then? I want to know," he demanded, though he spoke in a gentle tone.
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Post by Adriana Call on Jul 22, 2008 11:20:14 GMT -4
Adriana smiled a little bit. "Someone better for me than you..." she murmured. She looked up at him again and smiled. "I don't think there is anyone better for me than you...besides, now that I've met you I don't want to try and find someone else."
She froze. What are those reasons then? I want to know. Her blood chilled, her heart accelerated. She fought to keep herself in check. She bit her lip, looking at the sun and then to him, in all his beqildering perfection. Her heart ached, longed to be with him. She looked down again, knowing that if she looked at him, it would dampen her resolve. "Do you remember the story I told you...about werewolves?" she asked almost too quietly. She knew he would hear. Her heart pounded in her chest. She toyed a cowrie shell in her hands. Anything, anything to keep her from focusing too much on what she was about to do.
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Post by Lysander Rousseau on Jul 22, 2008 22:39:18 GMT -4
"If there isn't anyone better, then why won't you want to stay forever with me? We don't have to get married or anything like that. And I could wait for as long as you want. I know you're young, but I'll be eighteen forever. I just want to know that your mine and mine alone." Lysander instantly felt guilty saying what he did. It wasn't fair to her. She could have a life, a real life with someone else, a human... "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It's just...I've been so lonely. I mean I have Ariel and everything, she's the mother I wish I still had. But it's not the same when I'm with you. When I'm with you...my heart beats again, I mean, not really beats, but you know. I could feel something there, where my heart should be that tells me you're the only one...and I've never met a person who's done that, not even when I was human...but I know it's wrong of me to hold you down. To make you mine because I know you could never be mine." He sat up, bringing his knees to his chest. He closed his eyes.
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Post by Adriana Call on Jul 22, 2008 22:52:55 GMT -4
Adriana's lips went cold. She listened to his first words and read the one thought in his eyes he never spoke aloud, the one thing he always hid from her: the argument against being with her. The "she could have another life" argument. She traced the perfect, icy planes of his face with her too-warm fingers. "Lysander..." she murmured. She traced his perfect sparkling face. "I'm yours," she whispered. Softly, she ran her lips along his jaw, his neck. She traced his hand with her fingers, looking down. "Always."
If there isn't anyone better, then why won't you want to stay forever with me? She spluttered, her mind trying to answer the question in a more rational way. It didn't work. She just spit it out. "I wouldn't want to stay with you--can't stay with you, I do want to--because, because I'm a werewolf!" She nearly started crying, but she wasn't easily motivated to tears. Knowing he'd want to leave, she stepped back, disentangling herself from him, thoroughly prepared to face this pain alone.
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Post by Lysander Rousseau on Jul 22, 2008 23:48:59 GMT -4
He smiled when she said she was his. Lysander turned to look at her as she said something that surprised him. His arms encircled her, pulling her close to him.He knew she was trying not to cry. A werewolf...she's a werewolf. So Camille's not the only one who's in love with a werewolf... "Adriana...do you honestly think I care what you are? You could have three heads and five arms and I'd still love you and think you're the most beautiful girl in the world. You could be a green Martian, a zombie, you could be the most hideous monster, but I'd still love you. I-I know that we're suppose to be enemies like in the story, but I don't care. I love you, you and only you."
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Post by Adriana Call on Jul 22, 2008 23:59:55 GMT -4
She smiled at him, shocked. "Really?" Her voice was choked, thick, but she was still smiling. She wiped unfallen tears from her eyes. She looked at him, abruptly serious. She softly pressed her lips to his, trying, straining to keep her control from evaporating. She entertwined her arms around his neck, sliding onto his lap.
She did love him. It was always hard for her to say out loud, but she did. And she was willing to stay with him, to give up kids and old age to be with him, though she doubted he'd oblige her a species change. What would happen, in any case? She wasn't human...would the same mechanics apply to her? But she silenced all her worries and just let herself be with Lysander. Mr. Black always said she worried too much anyway.
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Post by Lysander Rousseau on Jul 23, 2008 0:12:05 GMT -4
"I wish you wouldn't doubt this, but yes. I do, really." He smiled into their kiss feeling more happy then he had ever felt in his entire existence. They parted and Lysander looked at her deeply. "I love you Adriana. You don't have to say it back. I don't deserve it really, because I'm taking things away from you. But I just would like you to know that I love you, with all my heart forever and ever."
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Post by Adriana Call on Jul 23, 2008 0:17:01 GMT -4
Adriana smiled against his lips. "Silly." She kissed him once more. "Of course I love you. For now and always. Don't you know that?" She smiled, and wove her fingers in his short hair. With the other hand, she traced his shimmering cheek, mesmerized, intoxicated by his beauty. Why should it matter that he was taking things from her, when she gained so much in return?
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Post by Lysander Rousseau on Jul 23, 2008 12:13:25 GMT -4
"Of course I know that, but it's just...are you sure? Are you really sure? You could have kids you know, with someone else that's not like me. Wouldn't you want kids? And what about marriage? I mean, we could get married, but what about when everyone starts to notice that while your thirty, your husband is still eighteen?" He sighed, kissing her forehead. "And I know I talk into endless circles, but for me, I'm fifty-five, I might look it, but I feel it, not physically, but emotional and mentally. I just...I want to make sure that you really want to spend forever with me. Because this is it, you're it for me. There's going to be no one else except you. You and only you."
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Post by Adriana Call on Jul 23, 2008 13:02:00 GMT -4
Adriana paused for a second. She'd already thought most of this through. "Why would I want to bring up kids with someone I don't truly love? Besides...I wouldn't be any sort of mother, if I knew I could have stayed with you. It'd eat me alive..." she thought of the possibility, of living a life without Lysander, and shuddered.
"But, well, I won't age, as long as I'm sitll phasing...I could concievably live forever, if I wanted to...it'd just be somewhat...tiring." She looked at him for an instant, wondering if he'd...but he wouldn't...would he? "I just..well, there are other options..." she muttered at her feet.
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Post by Lysander Rousseau on Jul 23, 2008 13:13:01 GMT -4
He knew that this conversation would come up sooner or later. Actually I hoped never rather then sooner or later, he thought. "Adriana...trust me. This life...I wouldn't wish it upon even my worst adversary. If I'd have had a choice, it would've been to stay human. Then I wouldn't have killed my own mother. I killed my own mother Adriana. What do you think that says about my kind? We’re monsters. And you could never be a monster, even though you're a werewolf. And that's saying a lot." He sighed. "And I know I promise to love you forever and I intend on doing so, even when you're old and gray, I'll still think you're the most gorgeous girl in the world."
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Post by Adriana Call on Jul 23, 2008 13:18:34 GMT -4
Her expression fell only slightly. The idea of getting old was so foreign to her...she couldn't imagine it fully, really. She looked up at him. "You wouldn't wish it on me, I understand that. I wish it on myself, Lysander. It's what I want...I don't want to die and know that I'm leaving you alone." She shuddered...it was a thousand times worse--the idea of him being in the same black depression she would be in the same situation.
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Post by Lysander Rousseau on Jul 23, 2008 13:26:19 GMT -4
"Yes, I know that. But who'd be willing to turn you? I'd killed anyone trying to, even if you begged them, bribed them. And besides, once you go, I'll go too. What's there left in this world if you're not by my side?" He knew it sounded morbid, that he would die once she had died. But it was the only way. Why live out another lonely existence?
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Post by Adriana Call on Jul 23, 2008 13:31:47 GMT -4
Adriana shrugged slightly. "I wouldn't ask anyone else," she said quietly. She threw the shell she had into the ocean. Looking out at the horizon, she found the courage to speak. "I wouldn't want that for you...to die after me. True, I wouldn't be around to care, but I think the world would be a little less--happy, if one of its better inhabitants were taken. Would you want that for me? If you were killed, for me to die?" She cleverly danced around the fact that she would die, without him. "You don't like the idea at all? Of us...being together...forever?" Maybe he just didn't want her for that long. However much time she had left...75 years or so, it wouldn't seem like much to someone who had forever. A vampire-sized fling. Humans were convenient for that sort of thing.
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